After listening to Beyonce’s new album, Lemonade, for 40 hours straight this week & reading hundreds of articles of speculation I thought I’d share my thoughts on the topic of infidelity.
Now, I’m well aware that there are more topics raised in the album bigger than cheating but I’ll be focussing on the aforementioned.
Cheating comes in two forms: physically and emotionally: Physically is as little as a kiss with someone up to a whole night(s) together, however there’s no emotional ties with the act. Emotionally, and arguably the worse of the two is having an emotional connection with someone else while you’re in a committed relationship, which of course can lead to something physical whether you choose to or not.
Have I cheated? Physically, no. Emotionally, maybe, yes. But I didn’t let it drag on for long, not that that’s an excuse. I was in a two year committed relationship and probably the most amazing boyfriend I’ve had to date. I realised shortly after I had feelings for someone else so I couldn’t really be in love with this boy so I ended it. That was put particularly harshly but of course there’s more to it than that.
Have I been cheated on? I honestly don’t know. There’s a very high chance, but I haven’t had it confirmed and tbh I don’t need it to be as it’s all water under the bridge.
Is cheating forgivable? Every relationship is different and you can’t pigeonhole an answer to yes or no. I have a lot of people close to me in my life who have dealt with this issue. A lot of it was within marriage which puts a spanner in the works. Some have worked it out and some have broken up over it, not without fighting for the relationship though.
My boyfriend is cheating on me, what do I do? I would say leave him, throw his stuff out the door, cry with your girlfriends, watch Sex & the City and move on with your life.
But he says he loves me and it won’t happen again? Make him bloody work for it, work for YOU! You’re a fine ass fox if he really meant it he WILL work for it. Sometimes it takes a infidel act to make someone realise that the grass isn’t greener on the other side after all. Again, every relationship is different but if it happens more than once it’s a BAD sign. But even once has ruined all trust in the relationship so you really need to assess whether this relationship is worth stressing over every time he’s out with his ‘mates’ late at night.
Ok I dumped his ass, how do I deal? Stay busy, stay focussed on being a whole person again without someone by your side, have goals and don’t let one of those goals be to screw his best friend or make like the FBI and stalk him and ‘the other woman’ (because I know all of your girls know how!) Distance is your best friend and time is the only thing that can heal you. As Bey put it “Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper” – Formation. Which I interpret to be your success.
I genuinely want all of my readers to be successful in their fields, their relationships and their life. Thanks for reading!